March 30, 2009
(This is the third in a series of three articles on “The Organized Move”)
The moving truck is pulling in the driveway of your new home and soon you will be surrounded by all your stuff. You have dreamed about the additional space…you have agonized over paint and furniture choices…and you have steadily purged the non-essentials among your belongings. Things will be different in this house! Everything will have a home, the spouse and kids will do their part to create order and the vow to ORGANIZATION has been made — but before this vision can become a reality, you must unpack and set up your new home.
Highlighted below are simple tasks that you can do to make unpacking a snap and keep the clutter in check.
If possible give yourself a realistic time frame. Arrange well in advance for personal days or use vacation days from work. If you have young children send them to Grandma’s or fly your mother-in-law for a few days. Delegate everyone’s tasks and remind them this is not social visit, but a working one. (If it’s your mother-in-law, let your spouse be the point person for that conversation!)
It is essential to give yourself this block of time so that things can get done properly and not be sentenced to garage limbo for 6 months. We have all witnessed this phenomenon, and in some cases the garage is not clear until the weather changes or in extreme cases the next move day.
Whether you are moving into new construction or an existing home, plan to get into the space early to do some light housekeeping. If budget permits arrange for a cleaning crew. Please remember this is not a thorough housecleaning, but a once-over for the bathrooms, kitchen and cabinets. If the carpets are in bad shape, you might consider having them professionally cleaned (although the move-in process may mess them up again).
Your moving day can be extremely chaotic, so make sure you have a small bag packed with your essentials — basically an overnight bag. Medications, toiletries, sweatshirt, cell phone, and your first aid kit. It is very difficult to predict when those wardrobe boxes will be opened, so just be prepared for anything. If you are moving during the school year, keep backpacks and kid’s school projects in a safe and accessible space.
Reveal your unpack schedule. All “essential” family members should have their own copy. “Essential” refers to family members that are of the appropriate age and physical capability to assist in the unpacking and I am sure that in a few homes only one unpack schedule will be needed. In this situation you should inquire about outside services for help.
The unpack schedule prioritizes the day and keeps things moving at a smooth pace. Bed setup and large furniture placement require immediate attention. Tape a simple diagram of the room to show placement for the movers and or family/friends; this will eliminate the constant back and forth. If possible place lamps, pictures, and boxes in the closets temporally for safekeeping. Closets should never be tackled on the moving day. Closets require your undivided attention and a proper mindset and the moving day is not conducive to either one.
The kitchen should be the next area of focus. If the kitchen is a main traffic area, hold off until the space is less traveled. If all is clear, tackle the necessary items first. For example you may want to run daily glassware, flatware, and dishes through a short cycle in the dishwasher. All serving and entertaining pieces will make do with the quick wipe of a clean towel. Place decorative pieces out of the way, this is not the time be arranging your collections. Now that all the boxes are open and you are waiting for the dishwasher to finish, think about your kitchen activities and position the equipment relative to these activity zones. These zones vary upon the type and size of kitchen. Store your frequently used kitchen equipment between knee and eye level. Make sure your kitchen works with the flow of your family’s lifestyle.
In the common areas of the home, the furniture can be arranged with relative ease. The family media center may require a bit more time. If you have school age children, bribe them with few dollars and have them separate their videos and music from yours. Kids can also put all the pillows with the coordinating sofas and chairs. Open some of the family book boxes and have the kids fill the lower shelves.
Bedrooms can be done in tandem with the closets, so if your first night is spent in fully made bed — congratulations!!. But realistically spend a day on each bedroom including the closet, it does not have to be the entire day, but finish one area completely before moving on to the next room.
The garage: This space is often forgotten, so put your best foot forward and spend a few hours when things inside are winding down and get the garage in order. Break down and recycle your used cardboard boxes and get them to the curb. There are some really inventive garage organizers out on the market. Invest in a couple that fit your budget and activities. If space permits, place a shoe organizer and hang a couple of hooks by the door. This is great for the overflow from the hall closets. Don’t forget to look up for the additional storage. Hang your bikes during the off-season and large baskets for those rarely used, but must keep items.
The months of planning, packing, and unpacking are complete. So relax and relish in your accomplishment. Get out, meet the neighbors and show off your new and very organized home.
Copyright 2004 Bridget Messino
About the author: Bridget Messino is a Professional Organizer and co-owner of Clutter Free Living, Inc. Her work frequently appears on many Internet sites and on her own organizing site Clutter Free Living as well as in her monthly Home Organizing Newsletter How to Be Clutter Free. Subscribe to the FREE monthly e-newsletter by sending a blank e-mail to cflnews-subscribe@topica.email-publisher.com
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March 29, 2009
“Fear Factor” is one of my favorite TV shows. It
highlights the courage of the participants to engage in
the most fearsome and disgusting acts.
Most of the contestants are willing to sacrifice their
dignity for the sake of the prize money. So what does
that imply? It implies that with the proper mindset,
determination, and will power, you can conquer your fear.
Everyone has some sort of fear. It may be brought about
by any one or more of the following reasons.
1) by a traumatic past incident (like being bitten by a
dog)
2) by the influence of other people
3) by their own negative way of thinking
But are you going to let fear take over your life? Will
you remain a hostage of your fear forever?
You must take the necessary steps to overcome your fright.
It’s all in the mind.
Do you envy other people when you see them enjoying wild
rides, and you’re just stuck in a corner because you’re
too terrified to give it a try?
My suggestion is to face your fear head-on. Imagine
yourself enjoying the experience instead of exaggerating
the things that make you worry. (Unless of course you
have health problems, then taking wild rides may not be
a good idea).
Do you want to be a doctor but you’re afraid that your
intellect can’t handle the pressure or you’re worried
about financial insecurity?
Well here’s the good news. If you’re really determined
to achieve your deepest desires, a powerful force will
enable you to reach them amidst every obstacle that comes
in the way. I’m not kidding.
Someone or something will always be there to help you
attain your goals. Just have faith in your abilities.
Your will power have the utmost capacity to accomplish
anything with the proper mindset.
You could use visualization to help you in defeating
any kind of fear.
Are you afraid of heights? Then imagine yourself being on
top of a mountain, overseeing the magnificent sights. Enjoy
and feel the moment. Take away all worries and anxieties.
Then just do it! Face it head on! Go to the top of a
building and savor the great feeling of being able to
face your fear.
This applies to whatever thing that triggers your fear
factor. Just imagine being able to defeat it, then
confront it with the definite belief that you have the
capacity to do everything you want if you just put your
mind to it.
Face the thing you fear the most and you’ll never have to
fear anything again in your life.
Michael Lee is the author of “How To Be A Red Hot Persuasion Wizard,” an ebook designed to fully improve your relationships, multiply your profits, win negotiations, and help you attain all the desired freedom and power you could ever dream of. Go to http://www.20daypersuasion.com now and grab a sample chapter.
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March 27, 2009
Divorce is difficult at the ‘best’ of times. Even when a couple makes a combined decision to divorce, it can be extremely trying.
What happens if the decision is one sided? What happens to the party who can sometimes feel blind-sided by one person’s decision that they no longer want to be a part of this union?
Been there, done that. Only I wasn’t the one who made the decision to leave the relationship. It was my ex-husband’s decision. Okay, I helped him make the actual decision to leave (he didn’t have much choice), but the result was the same. Feelings of “what’s wrong with me?” are abundant.
So here are some things that will help you to get your self esteem back after a divorce:
1. Talk to someone.
The first step to resolving those feelings is to talk to someone. Bend a familiar ear…be it biased or unbiased. Whether it’s to a trusted friend, or to a counselor, getting it out verbally is a great start to regaining your sense of self.
2. Be Honest.
If you decide that you’re going to seek help from a counselor, make sure that you tell the entire truth about what you’re feeling. Be as honest as you possibly can. How can a counselor do his/her job properly, if you’re not completely honest?
Regardless of what you tell a counselor, he/she is not there to judge you, merely to listen and to offer some constructive unbiased advice if necessar. Not criticism, just advice.
3. Keep a Journal.
Writing down what’s going on in your head is also helpful, weather you choose to do that via paper journal, or online journal, both are helpful. I find that using an online journal is much easier, as I don’t write nearly as quickly as I type.
4. Get to know yourself again.
It’s typical to lose oneself during the course of a relationship. I know I did! So after my divorce, I took some time to get to know “Me” all over again. Do whatever it is that you love to do! If you enjoyed snowboarding before you were married, get back to it! If you enjoyed knitting, put aside some time to do that. Read some good books, enjoy spending time with new friends, go away for the weekend, go and be you!
5. Don’t let those negative feelings back in.
Once you’ve written down feelings that aren’t positive (”I hate him/her. I can’t believe that he/she did this to me.”) in a journal of some type, you’ll notice that if you go back and re-read those bad feelings (and we all do it at least once), you’re mentally and emotionally back in that place all over again. Re-reading the ugly details of my divorce for instance, used to put me in that mood all over again (I’ve since tossed that journal). So my advice with regard to writing down negative feelings, is to write them down, then discard them. Tear them up, burn them, whatever it takes, but don’t let those negative thoughts back in.
6. Meet some new people.
When couples divorce, there may be a feeling amongst some of the friends of that couple who feel as though there is a need to take sides. You may find that you will need to meet new people, and take a step back from that even for a short time. Get yourself some friends that you and your ex don’t have in common. My ex and I used to work in the same industry, and as a result, we shared a lot of the same business colleagues. So as soon as our relationship ended, I started my own business doing something that wasn’t related in any way, shape or form to what he does for a living. I feel like a zillion bucks .
7. Find new interests.
The next step to rebuilding your sense of self-esteem would be to find some new interests. Find something that makes you feel good/better about yourself. Kickboxing. Kickboxing is an amazing way to get rid of certain frustrations, AND introduces you to a new sport (I brought a picture of my ex to my kickboxing class, and taped it to the heavy bag.). If you enjoy being outdoors, you might consider joining a running club, a rowing club, or anything else that allows you to be outdoors while meeting new people.
8. Make peace with yourself.
Understand that what happened, for whatever reason that it happened, is done. Over. Let it go. Move on. Whatever kind of bitterness that may have existed when he/she left, is going to have to get lost or it will get in the way of your true progress. I know. I did it. Get past it. How do you ‘get past it’? By doing these nine steps.
9. Accept the fact that things happen.
No doubt about it. Bad things happen to good people, and vice versa. Stuff happens more often than it doesn’t. Nothing we can do about it. Can’t control it. Can’t keep it from happening. Accept it. You’ll feel better for it.
Debbie Burgin has been divorced for 5 years. She discovered upon the exit of her ex-husband, that her divorce was actually for the best. She’s discovered that post-divorce, she and her children are happier, and more relaxed in their lives. She runs two of her own businesses, http://www.warnerdigitalmedia.com, and http://www.debbieburgin.com, and counsels other divorced women to “get out there, and live life!”
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March 24, 2009
When one arrives in the city of El Paso, Texas, one will have no regrets about spending one’s leisure time in this “border fence town.” One notepad will not be enough to jot down the beautiful places that man and nature have placed here. Close enough to the Mexican border, El Paso offers a wide variety of holiday experiences. Since the town is considered a melting pot of American and Mexican cultures, these are noticeable everywhere. One can choose to experience downtown walking tour in order to discover El Paso’s 400-year old history. Shopping is another alternative way of vacationing at El Paso. If one is into educational trips, he can learn from museums of every kind found in El Paso. One can visit the El Paso Museum of Art to behold American works of art from the 19th and 20th centuries, as well as retablos and Mexican colonial art from the 1700s and 1800. For those who choose to bring their kids along, the children can enter and enjoy El Paso Zoo. Nature hopping would be a good choice, too. Tourists can hike through four Texas State Parks. One can sweat through rock climbing and climbing the huge boulders of Hueco Tanks State Park. However, for those who are content to just walk, they might prefer to walk around the park’s interpretive center and view ancient Indian pictographs. Multi-diversity dotting the United States is also evident in El Paso as proven by the Middle Eastern culture at the El Paso Islamic Center in Paragon. There is never a dull moment for adventure seekers who visit El Paso as there are always interesting things to do and magnificent places to go to.
To learn more about famous Texans such as politician Ben Barnes, visit the De Leon, The Heart of Texas site.
Texas political memoirs, such as Barn Burning Barn Building, are explored on Texas political memoirs.
Distinguished Alumni such as Ben Barnes are profiled on The Distinguished Alumni of the University of Texas site.
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March 20, 2009
<p><a href=”http://www.businesstravellogue.com/mileage-credit-cards”>Airline mileage cards</a> are great aren’t they? You get points for traveling here, there, and everywhere, and you even get points for hiring cars and staying in motels. To be honest if you’re a regular traveler and you haven’t yet got a loyalty <a href=”http://www.creditcards.com/airline-miles.php”>card </a> you need to be asking yourself why not. It really is a no-brainer, these cards will reward you for your travel, and let’s face it whether you get the rewards or not you’re still going to travel. These schemes don’t actually cost you anything and by using them you’ll end up better off in terms of air miles which you can exchange for treats or more flights. </p>
<p>If you’re going on vacation you can use your card too - it all adds up. Before you know it you’ll have more points than you can shake a stick at, and you can even consider taking an extra trip to visit a friend or relative who you’ve not seen for ages. And while you’re about it you may as well get hold of a <a href=”http://airfare.bootsnall.com”>discount airfare</a> too. </p>
<p>Just think, by saving all that money on flights you’ll be able to buy yourself a few treats, visit old friends, or even take a second vacation. If you book yourself into one of the motels on your card issuer’s authorized list you’ll be stacking up the points on your account again, and it’s great to see the balance growing. Why not see if there’s a motel close to an old friend or relative so you can call in and see them while you’re in town? You can hire a car and go out on sightseeing trips together and you know by doing so your points are stacking up again. By being canny with your spending you can get more out of the schemes and take advantage of the enjoyment they bring.</p>
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March 19, 2009
We are all too familiar with the term “body language”. There have been books, workshops and endless discussions spawned by it.
But do you really KNOW how to interpret the non-verbal messages that other people broadcast on a continual basis in their interactions with you?
There are two levels of communication that occur in any interaction:
content
process
Content refers to what we SAY.
Process refers to EVERYTHING ELSE that occurs.
Interactions can be wrought with mixed signals- saying one thing and non-verbally communicating another.
No wonder so many singles report confusion regarding what their date was really thinking or feeling. On the surface, understanding this language can seem very difficult, if not impossible. Not so, if you learn to speak the non-verbal language of process.
The following tips will be presented using examples of naturally (and commonly) reported dating scenarios experienced by singles.
1. Good eye contact/ poor eye contact
When you are sitting and talking with your date, do you notice how they look at you, when you or they are speaking?
When their eye contact is good, this is a sign that they feel comfortable and interested in you. They are really involved in the interaction and want to be there. It also communicates honesty and sincerity.
Conversely, when your date has difficulty making eye contact, this communicates discomfort; lack of interest or it could be extreme shyness. The last would be easy to know if they are a shy person in general.
2. Restlessness
Have you ever experienced the restless date? You know the one. He moves around in his chair, she looks at her watch, and his mind seems somewhere else. He may or may not offer an explanation.
What appears to be going on is that her mind IS somewhere else.
This behavior communicates a lack of interest or a preoccupation with someone or somewhere else.
3. Looking around at others a lot and not at you
Have you ever had the unpleasant experience of being out with someone who watches the crowd the whole time? Perhaps, they just glance furtively (and frequently) around the room?
This, of course, signals lack of interest, possible discomfort and a desire to avoid interaction with you.
It can also be a general sign of someone who is not trustworthy, or at the very least, hasn’t been completely honest/ candid with you.
4. Is noticeably quiet
Oh, how deafening is silence. It can speak volumes.
If your date has little to say to you what does this mean?
Maybe they are just not very interested in you.
Perhaps they don’t think you would care to hear what they have to say.
Maybe they think you wouldn’t appreciate hearing what they are really thinking.
Perhaps they are in an off or sour mood.
Only you can interpret this. Be careful not to quickly write it off to something you want it to be, as opposed to what it really is.
5. Stiffening or closed-in body posture
You know what YOU do in uncomfortable situations.
You fold your arms tightly across your chest.
You stiffen your spine
You tightly cross your legs.
You turn your body at an angle away from the person you are facing
You lean away from the person you are with
Of course, the reverse is true when the interaction feels good.
You lean forward
Your arms are relaxed or laying open to the person
You face the other person directly
Your posture is relaxed and at ease
It’s fairly easy to interpret the closed-in posture.
The other person feels uncomfortable
They aren’t open to the interaction with you
They would rather not be there
If this is a first date, it will probably be the last.
6. Physical Contact
Perhaps the easiest communication to read correctly is that of touch.
If your date avoids taking your hand or putting his arm around you he may be uncomfortable or unsure.
He may also be shy, but you would already know that.
If someone you have been dating for a while begins to exhibit changes in their level of eye contact, body posture, attention to you, availability and/or becomes restless or less communicative, pay attention. Their feelings have shifted. Be careful not to be too quick to explain it away. More than one occurrence should set off your silent alarm. Make sure that what they say matches what they don’t say.
Other (non-verbal) expressions that you should listen to that can suddenly occur during the course of a dating relationship are:
Calling less or not calling
Change in voice tone
Becoming busy and not having time to get together
Lateness
Missing dates without calling or having a plausible excuse
Moodiness- irritation/impatience/anger outbursts
If your date or boyfriend/girlfriend sends you any of the above (negative) signals, the best way to handle it is to comment in a direct (and gentle) way about it.
Then watch for what he/she DOES while you listen to their response.
This will give you all the information you need.
Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman’s Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men’s Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her syndicated column, “Dear Dating Coach.”
Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over fifty-five hundred subscribers with its dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association Of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.
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March 19, 2009
Before my daughter Michele began attending school, a lady
who was babysitting her noticed things she did (or didn’t do)
that weren’t quite right developmentally.
We were fortunate in that the babysitter had had training
in early childhood education, and she would work with Michele
and her son to help them develop appropriate pre-school skills.
She became concerned that Michele struggled with learning her
alphabet and her numbers. Her small motor skills - things like
using scissors and coloring - weren’t up to par. She would
overreact to many situations, and she didn’t understand jokes
because she didn’t understand words with different meanings.
We weren’t surprised when she was recommended in first grade
to be evaluated for a learning disability.
I have taught hundreds of children with learning disabilities,
and all of them had different combinations of signs. Some of
the younger children just couldn’t remember what sound(s) each
letter or combination of letters made. Some couldn’t figure out
what certain numbers added up to, or they couldn’t remember
their subtraction, multiplication, or division facts, even
though they tried and tried to memorize them.
Many of the kids, both younger and older, like Michele, could
read words on a page very well, but they had difficulty
understanding what they read. Then there were others who had
to have help reading the words, but once they read them, they
had no trouble understanding. There were some who were great
readers and writers, but they had an awful time with Math, and
there were some who could do math better than I could, but they
had a terrible time with reading.
One thing a majority of them struggled with was organizational
skills. They were always losing things - notebooks, pencils,
coats, assignments, anything they could possibly lose. Their
lockers looked like tornadoes had gone through them. And I heard
from the parents that their bedrooms were the same story.
Too many of the students I taught tried to avoid reading and
writing because it was so difficult for them. It was a common
practice for me to help them read tests because they 1) couldn’t
read the words, or 2) didn’t understand either the question or
the multiple choice answers they were given.
Taking notes was always difficult for Michele. She couldn’t get
the notes from the chalkboard, overhead, or even her textbook
onto her paper. She had to have help in her classrooms so she
could work around this problem.
Everyone has problems with something. But when these problems interfere with your child’s education, and they are not showing
the improvement they should be showing, it is time to consider
getting him evaluated.
For more on having your child evaluated, visit http://www.LDPerspectives.com.
For more information designed especially to help you take charge
of the Learning Disabilities in your life, please visit our
website at http://www.LDPerspectives.com.
About the Author
Sandy Gauvin is a retired educator who has seen learning
disabilities from many perspectives - as the parent of a
daughter with learning disabilities, as the teacher of children
with learning disabilities, and as an advocate for others who
have diagnosed and unrecognized learning disabilities. Sandy shares her wisdom and her resources at http://www.LDPerspectives.com
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March 17, 2009
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March 16, 2009
Knowing What To Do In Divorce
Knowing what to do when you are faced with a divorce is often hard to figure out. But, you can and you will get through it. First, you need a qualified divorce attorney. A divorce is a messy thing and you will want someone knowledgeable to help you figure it out. Then, you need to decide on some very important situations. It can not be stressed enough the importance of having a level head and not pursuing those angry feelings. Things like money and property will have to be divided within the divorce. But, your children will also need to know that you and your partner have the best intentions for them as well even though you are facing this divorce.
The statistics are high in this country for divorce. If you are one of those individuals searching for answers on how to make it through your divorce, you can find answers and divorce attorneys through many resources. Some of them are: your local yellow pages, online, through a person whom you may know who has gone through a divorce.
Although divorce is a huge change and challenge within your life, it will be comforting to know that there are divorce attorney’s willing to take some of the burden off you. Your divorce does not have to be hard and messy. Instead, divorce can be a beginning to the rest of your life.
If you feel that you have been the victim of personal injury, then you have to take the first step and find a qualified personal injury attorney to help you. Then, take the time to learn about the personal injury itself. Knowledge is always powerful and there is no exception when it comes to personal injury.
S A Baker is staff writer at http://www.thesmartattorneys.com
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March 12, 2009
Searching for different avenues such as school scholarships to help fund a degree is often difficult and time consuming. College scholarships differ from the regular student loan because they are a grant for a college education, so it does not need to be paid off. As you look for means to fund a university degree, be aware that funds are accessible at unusual sites, for instance financing specifically for left-handed students. Left-Handed Scholarships
A left-handed scholarship may at first appear a little bit crazy, however it’s worth considering this: Benjamin Franklin was left-handed, as is Barack Obama. Raphael, Da Vinci, Bob Dylan not to mention were left-handed as well. Close to eleven percent of the population are left-handed. Frequently considered to be much more artistic and more intelligent, left handers have often been the victims of discrimination in the past. Stigmatization is not a problem any longer and southpaws are no longer believed to be unusual, in fact they may even be linked with the great people noted previously.
If you’re lefthanded and searching for scholarships for lefthanded scholars, a lot of left handed grants exist which you may be able to acquire. The Frederick and Mary F. Beckley Scholarship for anything up to a thousand dollars is available at Juniata College stuated in Huntington, PA. Awarded to scholars of Juniata College and it was set up in the seventies, this college grant has assisted over 40 left-handed students in their quest for further education.
Many grants do have prerequisites or restrictions. In a few cases certain grades may be asked for or particular monetary prerequisites must be met. Multiple applications may give you a greater opportunity of graduating with a negligible amount of debt. You should also consider community organisations, societies and groups connected to hobbies. Bursaries for left handed scholars are just an illustration; grants are available in some other instances for instance the students from military households or if you are disabled in any way.
Many scholars have to invest quite a bit of your time researching grants, however the payoff will be worth it. Any debt accrued by a university degree may be decreased by such grants used in conjunction standard lending. Ensure you research each eligible grant. These funding is not the only choice — be imaginative! Try for everything you consider you are qualified for, keeping any costs minimal, additionally you will most probably be facing better prospects on graduation.
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